Over the past few weeks, several people have contacted me with questions about friends serving friends in ministry.  To be more specific, serving as an armor bearer for a friend.  On the surface it seems as though this would be an ideal situation; however, what sometimes seems ideal is not. In an effort to explain some things about being an armor bear, I want to share a little story.

The summer of 1996 was my first exposure to armor bearers and personal assistants.  I watched Elder Lester Love with great curiosity and intrigue as he served Bishop Paul Morton.  He observed everything and everyone in their immediate vicinity as he gave subtle direction to others.  Many of Bishop Morton’s needs were anticipated before they were articulated; other needs were executed quickly and deftly.

I observed Elder Love, tall, commanding and authoritative in appearance, as he humbly served another man of God.  What intrigued me most was that this man, Elder Lester Love, was also an ordained minister – a preacher and teacher of the Word of God.  But he had a heart to serve his pastor.  Elder Love understood that for this season, his job was to relieve Bishop Morton of the details of ministry that can become overwhelming.

Notice how I describe Elder Love

• tall, commanding and authoritative
• humble
• a heart to serve
• a servant

He was not Bishop Morton’s friend, for that season, he was Bishop Morton’s servant.  Understand that Bishop Morton loved his son in ministry but Elder Love the armor bearer was his servant.  Regardless of his appearance and his own ability to preach and teach, Elder Love was humble; he was a servant.

For the average man, it is difficult to serve another man:  carry his brief case or Bible; drive him to speaking engagements; make sure he has a change of clothes; run his errands.  This is a special calling that is not for wimps.  Your friends and family may tease you and call you names, but as long as you understand your role it shouldn’t bother you.

The same hold true for female armor bearers.  When serving, you are not girlfriends.  One thing that female armor bearers must keep in mind is that men usually don’t talk about personal things but women do.  As an armor bearer, it’s probably best to stay away from personal conversations.

The main duty of an armor bearer is to serve.  Now, if you are an armor bearer for your friend, are you ok with being his/her servant?  Can you separate the times you hang out as friends from your role in ministry when you are supposed to serve?  When your friend receives accolades for preaching a great sermon and all the attention is on him/her; are you secure enough to stay in the background and serve with humility?

If you forget your role and become too familiar with your leader while you are serving, will you be offended when you are rebuked or corrected?  Will rebuke or correction cause a strain in your relationship?  Will you feel left out because your friend is the center of attention?

These are just a few things to consider before becoming an armor bearer for a friend.  In a new ministry or small ministry, it might be unavoidable.  It’s not an impossible task but it might be difficult.

What do you think?

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• Planning and organizing a workshop for family caregivers and;
• launching an online store for caregivers

The workshop took place on August 15th with pretty good attendance.  The speakers were excellent.  The workshop was well received and there was an unexpected outcome: some of the participants suggested that I take the “show on the road.”  They asked me to offer the workshop to churches.  As flattered as I am that the participants thought enough of the workshop to ask that I offer it to their fellow church members, the request isn’t very practical.

The Problem

My expertise in this area lies in planning and organizing.  I am neither a gerontologist nor an expert on caregiving.  I have no expertise in any area of elder care and my understanding of Medicare and Medicaid is foggy at best.  This means that to take the workshop to different churches, I would need a team with expertise in those areas.  The gerontologist who spoke at my workshop is Carrie Springer.  She is a caregiver for her 55 year old brother who has disabilities and her parents who are both in the early stages of Alzheimer’s; and she is the marketing director for an assisted living facility.  Carrie is a nice lady, with a passion for caregiving, but she is not going to give up her weekends or evenings to follow me around to do workshops.  Also, I am a full time caregiver for my 82 year old god-sister.  I can’t devote that kind of time to an on-going project either.

The Solution

It’s simple enough for churches to host their own elder care workshops.  Do your research and find your speakers:  gerontologist, geriatric nurses, geriatricians, adult day care program directors, adult day care activity coordinators, elder care lawyers . .  More than likely there are people in your congregation who are using elder care services or who know someone who is.  Medicare plan providers such as WellCare, Humana, Advantage and others, can provide someone to explain medicare and medicaid benefits.  We used WellCare of Georgia and they were glad to offer their services.

The Importance

There are 54 million family caregivers in the United States.  Family caregivers are ordinary people like you and me who take care of our parents, family members or friends with little or no compensation.  Approximately 30 million of these caregivers take care of parents or elderly family members, many of whom have some form of dementia.  This number will only increase over the coming years because of medical advances and longer life spans.

Even though we know our family members are aging, when the time comes for us to take care of them, most of us are not prepared.  Some people handle it better than others, but we could all use a little training in the area of elder care.

Please visit my blog, A Caregivers Journal for a list of caregiver resources.  I hope you will begin to offer some form of elder care training for your congregation.

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On Tuesday we had a pre-anniversary celebration with comedian Rod Allison.  At the end of his performance, he thanked us for inviting him and complemented our staff and armor bearers for our level of hospitality and excellence.  Mr . Allison enjoyed himself and we enjoyed hosting him because he exemplified what I wrote about in my post, 10 Ways to Get Invited Back to A Ministry.

In previous posts I’ve talked about the importance of hospitality:

• Go The Extra Mile for Ministry Guests
• 10 Ways to Help Your Out of Town Guest Feel Welcome at Your Church
• How to Host a Guest Speaker

On Suite101.com, Janice Benoit defines hospitality in the following manner:

I often am asked, “What is hospitality?” Wikipedia defines hospitality as the relationship process between a host and a guest.

But what does that mean in practical terms? I believe that hospitality is better defined in terms of the guest’s feelings. For instance, does the guest feel comfortable (in terms of location, interaction with other guests, food choices, ambient temperature, etc.).

So an effective way to implement hospitality . . . is to use The Golden Rule. Put yourself in the guest’s place and make sure that you are comfortable with every aspect of your function. Even in party planning, do onto others as you would have done unto yourself!

I chose this definition because it is right on point.  Treat your guests the way you would want them to treat you and it will make you a better host.  The best book that I have read on hospitality is  Be Our Guest: Perfecting the Art of Customer Service by the Disney Institute.

Over the years, our church has become known for its hospitality to guests.  We have learned by observing other churches, taking note during restaurant experiences and reading books on customer service.  If you want to take your church to another level of hospitality, continue to learn and practice what you learn on your guests.  It’s not that hard, practice makes perfect.

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As the face of the church changes and we have young tech savvy pastors, more churches embrace technology and a more efficient way to communicate with church members.  Pastor Shawn Wood of Shawns Blog Spot started a list of twittering pastors and as he stated, his list is just for fun; but it is a partial list of other pastors that he follows on Twitter.

Kevin Hendricks of Church Marketing Sucks says:

. . . if you’re trying to reach a tech savvy crowd, it might be something to explore.

The main thing to keep in mind is that Twitter is just another medium. It could be a volunteer coordinator or an evangelism tool. Experiment and see what works:

• Ask questions: Sermon research, who’s coming to an event, what people might be interested in, etc.
• Share insights: Maybe it’s a quote from a sermon, maybe it’s a sudden insight from a Bible study.
• Highlight content: Point people to blog posts, articles or resources on your church web site.
• Hype events: Remind people of events and give a glimpse of what they’re missing.

I have a Twitter account but have not used it yet.  Mainly because I don’t know how.   A few days ago I purchased Anthony Coppedge’s new e-book, The Reason Your Church Must Twitter. I plan to purchase an additional copy for my pastor and our youth pastor.  In the book, Anthony includes a step by step chapter on how to get started on Twitter.  The cost of the e-book is only $5.00, you might want to check it out.

Do you Twitter?  Why or why not?  Let us know in the comments.

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A man having a bad day.

What happens when your staff or volunteers have a bad day?  Every now and then we all have a bad day, but everyone is not able to play it off.  There are some people who are pleasant and greet you with a smile no matter what kind of day they are having.  They have the ability to separate the task at hand from their personal issues.  On the other hand, there are people who wear their personal problems and feelings on their faces and in their attitudes.

When your ministry workers (paid staff or volunteers) are on duty and out front, they should leave their problems at home.  If they cannot leave their problems at home, then you have to implement Plan B.  Plan B says move them to work behind the scenes and put someone else to work in their place out front.

A few days ago I was at the grocery store.  I enjoy shopping at this store because the workers are very friendly and helpful.  This particular day when I got to the cashier, she didn’t speak, she didn’t make eye contact, she didn’t smile and she never acknowledged my presence.  After she rung up my items she just turned around and started bagging my groceries.  She didn’t give me the total, she never said a word.  So I asked her, “Are you going to say anything?”  She looked at me as if to say, “What’s the problem?”  She was having a bad day.

Not only was this cashier rude, but she did not provide good customer service. A similar scenario can play out at your church.  Just like at the store, when people are offended or annoyed at your church, you should want it reported to someone in authority.  You want it reported so the problem can be addressed.  Problems that go un-addressed become bigger problems and can cause you to lose members or cause visitors to not come back again.

So, what should you do about ministry workers who have a bad day?  A few suggestions are:

• During their initial training, advise them of Plan B
• Minister to them and see if there’s anything you or the ministry can do to help
• Remove them from the front line and assign them a task working behind the scene
• Explain why they have temporarily been moved to a different position
• Acknowledge them when they do a good job or go beyond the call of duty

Even though the church is like a business in many ways, it is also unique in many ways.  One of those ways is how quickly the church can turn people off and drive them away.  When visitors who are looking for a church home, come to worship at your church and they feel ignored or offended in some way, they will not come back.  I know because I’ve been there.  One of the things that you must keep in mind is that you only get one chance to make a first impression.  Make it a good one.

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